We’re often asked many questions about funeral services and related topics. For some time now, we’ve talked about putting together a resource where those common questions and our answers are available to anyone, anytime. We’re not opposed to answering the same questions repeatedly, but we believe this kind of resource can be helpful. Over the course of the year, our plan is to address many of the most frequently asked questions we receive. We’ll begin with this one: Why have a funeral service? As you may know, many people and families choose not to have a service. Sometimes a burial takes place immediately without a funeral. Sometimes someone is cremated without a service before or after the cremation. I’ll be the last person to tell you that you must have a funeral. But in my experience, there are several important reasons to at least consider it. At the top of the list is closure. I’ve spoken with many people whose loved ones were cremated without any kind of service, and later they’ve told me it felt as though their loved one simply vanished, as if they disappeared. They struggled with that feeling. In short, they didn’t feel they received the closure they needed. That won’t be true for everyone, but for many, it is. That’s the primary reason I encourage families to consider having some kind of service. That service can take many forms. It may be a funeral with the person’s body present in a casket. It may be a memorial service without the body present. It may be religious or non-religious, formal or informal. We’ve even hosted very casual life celebrations in our event center with a catered meal. People eat, talk, and when someone wants to share a story, they step up to the microphone. When they’re finished, everyone goes back to eating and enjoying time together. It’s relaxed and personal. A service can be held at our funeral home, at a church, or in almost any location you choose. There really is no single “right” way to do it. What matters is having a designated time and place to gather with family and friends and say goodbye. Over the long run, that proves to be a great help. It provides closure. I understand why some people avoid it. It’s hard. It hurts. Who wants to go to a funeral? But it’s a bit like going to the doctor. My young children dread doctor visits, especially when they know they’re getting a shot. But they endure that brief moment of pain because it’s good for them in the long run. That’s how I think about funeral and memorial services. Ultimately, they’re good for us. We need them for closure, if nothing else, but we also need them for support. It makes a tremendous difference for a grieving family to see the outpouring of care from people who show up. That kind of support is invaluable. Without a service, people often don’t have a clear opportunity to offer it. While there’s no rule that says you have to have a funeral, in my experience, families rarely regret choosing to have one. If you have a question you’d like us to address, feel free to email me at jeremy@billingsfuneralhome.com .
